off one's feed

i struggled with creating a name for this blog.

on dictionary.com, i looked up various words: power; feed; revive; live. all the word combinations were taken. then, smack in the middle of a page, there was a phrase i've never heard of before.

off one's feed, Slang.

a. reluctant to eat; without appetite.
b. dejected; sad.
c. not well; ill.

this perfectly describes the audience i'm looking for.

i created this blog for a project that i am doing. in my "communication and power" class, we've been asked to do something that empowers ourselves and/or others. i thought about this long and hard. i have a lot to say, and narrowing my focus seemed impossible. but after talking to a few friends, i realized it just came down to the simple concepts of self-acceptance and self-love. i didn't have to concentrate on eating disorders specifically, which i have vast experience with. as someone who is recovered, i'm tired of the mucky details of those diseases. dwelling over them doesn't help.

what will help is to share what i have learned from recovery- that is, to love myself. it is very simple, but so very hard. easier said than done. i am hoping that through sharing my story, my thoughts, my ideas, and those of other people i look up to, i can inspire people to take that step toward realizing defeat- that is, admitting that their self-destruction isn't doing the trick, and they deserve so much more, and they really can defeat the monsters in their head. i have so much hope that other people can do this as i have done. i was off my feed for a long time.

so i hope you will enjoy this blog. i plan on writing in it a lot. i may re-paste entries from other places that i have written. i may get pissed and bitchy and sad. i won't hold back because no one should. i think people have been silenced for too long. i have met so many beautiful people who cannot reach their true potential, for they are bogged down by low self-esteem, self-loathing, insecurity, fear, and other nasty things. i hate that they are repressed. i am still repressed in some ways, and i hope that this blog will help me come out of my shell even more. we deserve to speak up, say what we mean, and have the conviction to truly love ourselves- and i mean truly. not in a way that appeases others or repeats someone else's philosophy. i mean to really feel it in your bones that you deserve to enjoy life and to thrive on everything it gives you- food, love, expression, your body, everything.

that's where i'm coming from. i hope to meet new people and hear your stories and make connections. don't be shy- this is a place for you to let loose and say whatever the hell you want. i wouldn't have it any other way.