ED presentation

my mentor, an eating disorders specialist, (i'll call her "m") and i conducted a presentation at a UNH therapeutic rec class today. it went really well.

i was pretty nervous. we met with the professor who used to be a therapeutic rec counselor at the IP program my mentor used to lead. she led us to the classroom and there were only five people there and i was relieved... but as m. was setting up the laptop, more and more people came in til there was about thirty of them!

the professor introduced me as a UNH student heading to new orleans for graduate school who is recovered from anorexia nervosa. a bunch of people went "wow" when i said i was going to tulane, that was cool. m. went through a few powerpoint slides about eating disorders and talked about the basics, and then turned to me and said, "i'm gonna let you talk." my heart rate sped up. she told everyone i'd share my experiences and then handed the floor over to me. telling my story was way easier than i thought it would be. my sense of humor is so apparent now that i am recovered and i made people laugh a few times.

after that we answered questions for hours. we were there from 3:30 to about 5:40. we talked about everything. they were so engaged and really wanted to know more. we talked about the media, how to confront a friend, treatment methods, bmi, dieting, etc. etc. pretty much every topic about eating disorders.

the most depressing part of the discussion was when someone wanted to honestly know what m. thought about the following: is it easier for someone to succeed if they are pretty or smart? we discussed a bunch of studies that have been done that show that attractive people are looked upon favorably. people were kind of bummed out about it. i jumped in and said, "well, no one gives a crap about what their loved ones look like," and people laughed, and i went on to say that you can deal with this by being healthy yourself and surrounding yourself with healthy people.

someone asked if because i recovered so quickly (m. told them i am a rarity) that i worry my ED will come back. i said no because i feel like i have a solid foundation now and self-worth/self-love that i've never had before, and i'm a completely different person than i was when i was sick.

none of this made me upset or anything. it felt so good to educate them and talk about stuff that i discuss online all the time.

one girl who asked the most questions talked to me at the end and told me she wants to go to DC because she wants to live in a city, which i related to. she was so kind and kept thanking me for sharing my story and wished me the best.

the professor said i am a phenomenal public speaker... WTF. that's one of the best compliments ever because i'm better at writing than i am at talking and for her to say that is just so flattering and really makes me feel good.

i just can't believe how far i've come.

m. told me that meda pays about $50/hour for recovered people to share their stories with people... i am definitely going to look into this.

i'm so happy i did this. it's amazing to turn my experience into something so positive. i think they all really learned a lot.