my issue with jillian michaels

first off, let me say that i respect jillian. she's an intelligent, strong, and compassionate lady. but i have a bone or two to pick with her.

i can't quote her books directly because i sold them, but i will paraphrase from my memory.

she, like many other fitness gurus out there, are about extremism. there's no question that the biggest loser has unhealthy aspects. the winner of the first season restricted so much that he was peeing blood. helen looked incredibly drawn and wasted at the finale. someone said that the ranch reminded them of remuda ranch, because you are confined in your own little world and so much of it is about disciplining yourself around food.

i get that there's entertainment value... no one would watch it if these people were rehashing traumas with dr. drew and taking gentle walks every day.

two things bug me about her and the show:

1.) exercise is painful and awful
2.) your looks matter a great deal.

in one of her books, jillian said something about not caring less if someone had a six pack, which i thought was great. she then goes on to talk about how she's atrophied certain muscles in her torso and bulked up other ones to create the curves she wanted, which i thought was extreme. i am confused about the double messages. if you don't care about looks, why do you put so much effort and time into your body far beyond fitness goals? why does it matter what you look like when you're the one emphasizing how it's all about what's inside? where does superficiality come into play and why?

i was shocked when i read in one of her books that she used to starve herself for years. she ate strictly 1,200 calories a day, and gained and was baffled as to why (hm, i wonder!) and found out she had metabolic issues, and this drove her to learn everything about the metabolism from all the experts in the field, and write a book for everyone about how to revamp your entire diet so you can beat your metabolism and lose weight.

it just strikes me as really obsessive and disordered. she's made weight loss her life mission.

i understand it that someone who is overweight may be happier when they become healthier... but this is not what life is about. i don't think the answer is to stop eating processed foods and high fructose corn syrup. if people want to do that, that's their prerogative. but don't shove it down other people's throats. i do believe that a great deal of people don't cut out those foods for health reasons; they just do it for an excuse to lose weight.

i think jillian is gung-ho about health and that's great, but you don't have to be so extreme to be healthy. she is practically phobic about things like fast food and candy bars. they're not gonna fucking kill you, calm down. i'm betting that the people who gain the weight back after the biggest loser do it because they cannot keep up with such a limited diet, and they cannot find it in themselves to demonize food any longer.

this all relates to eating disorders so much. you cannot control your life through exercise, dieting, or your weight. you cannot move past an eating disorder unless you stop demonizing food and realize that it's not food that is the problem; it's what you're using it to cover up. i don't think you can be truly happy until you accept your body and stop trying to make it something that it's not.

i think a lot of people believe that there is an enemy they need to fight. that enemy is their weight, food, body, the elliptical.... ask yourself: what are you really fighting? will you find the answer to your problems on a bowflex machine? do you think that you are free?

to my mind, a perfect role model who happens to be a fitness guru would be into fitness because they are genuinely passionate about it, not because it keeps them and other people thin. this person would say that there are no good foods or bad foods; everything in moderation is fine. this person would not count calories or battle against their setpoint. this person would not make their clients exercise 5 hours a day. they would not make exercise a torturous activity. they'd make it fun and treat their clients with respect. life is too fucking short to be spending hours on the treadmill going nowhere.

in all seriousness, if you want a fitness guru, follow richard simmons. he certainly isn't going to make a big deal about what you look like. did you know he lost all his hair when he was anorexic? he has used hair plugs since and that's why his hair looks kind of funky. i read an interview with him once and he is so compassionate.

but i guess my point is that you don't NEED jillian or richard. their clients are not meant to be eating disordered. if you have an ED, exercise isn't a good idea. i couldn't exercise for the longest time when i was in early recovery... i had to start out with a ten minute walks, which later extended to twenty minutes. by the time i was cleared to weight lift, i jumped right in and ended up with about 3,234 injuries because my body was so fragile from my eating disorder.

now that i am recovered, i still need to negotiate my relationship with exercise. i don't like how our culture tells us that it's supposed to be a sadomasochistic activity. and you know what? i don't like it, so i don't have to follow that doctrine. i can create my own philosophy on exercise. mine is that it's fun and casual, and my behavior will follow. it is really easy to override the dominant cultural norms when you realize that you are the boss of your life, you are the captain of your own soul. make up your own philosophies and belief structures instead of following the status quo. you were given a brain that is tremendously creative and intelligent; use it to create the life that you want to live.